THIS PROJECT NOW APPEARS AT www.coro-nation.org
I’ve been doing a lot of daddy day care time in the last couple weeks, and as much as drawing with crayons is legitimately enjoyable and engaging, my mind has tended to wander to what the new world will look like. For most of my career, I have either been a startup founder or an artist. Combining those two, I’ve created these entirely fictional company concepts. I do not intend on launching these companies. This is a work of art, both to make me feel better, and give my mind something to chew on in some framework other than fear and preparedness, as it relates to the virus — and the vex — put upon us.
All brands, logos, and trademarks are fictional and do not exist. I made them. Please forgive any typos, as this is not a professional work but a creative post.
So without further ado, let me present the first class of CORONATION. They are broken into the following categories:
Retail & Service Industry
Real Estate
Finance & Insurance
Health & Wellness
Children, Families & Communities
PUBLIC POLICY REFORM & ADVOCACY CAMPAIGNS
RETAIL & SERVICE INDUSTRY
SHOP2YOU — everything on location, using your own brand. S2Y brings a stack of experiences to people’s home, all of which are traditionally travel-to experiences. Our first three markets are salons, massage, and mechanics. When providers sign up for S2Y, they continue forward with their salon, garage, or studio name and brand. S2Y is behind the scenes, offering the software and services to help thrive in the new economy, which will be short on shared spaces.
CLEAN RIDE — Need to get your car worked on? CLEAN RIDE will pick your vehicle, decontaminate it, bring it a garage, then pick it up and decontaminate it again before bringing it back to you. You can also call CLEAN RIDE when you need to get your car decontaminated for any reason. Shared ride service drivers can stop by our decontamination centers for discounted service 24/7 and our partnership with the ACME Foundation provides free cleaning of public service vehicles during state declared emergencies.
NEIGHBORHOOD CHEF — We offer a training and certification process, as well as an opt-in tracking and auditing program, that enables chefs to work for their neighbors, and for those neighbors to feel safe. Anyone cooking through our services has done more than 50 hours of safety training, including how to potentially decontaminate food. They also disclose all of their sources in an open traceability platform, so you can see where any food is coming from and how it’s been handled. We have an additional feature where someone can post the cooking and safety requirements they need met with a price point they’d pay, and chefs can shop the platform for work.
PAIN BOX — People should not go to the hospital of pharmacy for pain medicine unless they really have to. At the same time, the opioid epidemic is at risk of surging during this stressful time. A PAIN BOX allows locations like nursing homes, and even individual homes, to have remote-controlled pain management distribution. Our network of safe delivery trucks ensures a limited stockpile, and our triple-stack communication structure ensures that even in a power outage, we can get urgent supplies in people’s hands.
TRIAGE TRUCK — No one should go to the emergency room for things that need a one-and-done intervention, like a broken arm. We retrofit trucks and busses to turn them into mobile treatment units that keep people out of hospitals.
TRANNY NANNY — The trans-x community is one of the most at risk communities in the world, and often discriminated against. At the same time, many parents, especially LGBTQIA+ parents, would love to have a caregiver who shares their values, especially in this time of isolation. Some families can even host live-in nannies to reduce expenses. Our platform offers a rapid training program in child safety, child education, and a combined cultural understanding process to help onboard new families. We also require health screening with detailed biosecurity training, and participating families can support medical bills for nannies, as well.*
SANITRUCK — Retrofit kits for shipping trucks and delivery services. Our kits enable almost any truck, from the biggest of mobile shipping container to the back seat of delivery service drivers, has the technology to be constantly safe, even if constantly at risk operationally. A combination of lighting, customized storage bins, and entry exit remediations allow both professionals and amateurs like farmers’ market sellers to retrofit their own equipment quickly and simply.
REAL ESTATE
REAPPRAISER — We have a new model for valuing properties, based on their community factors like medical care and trauma response, as well as the ability to have access to healthy relationships. It’s crazy to say that the value of a house is the sticks it’s made of and the land it sits on. Our legal system is built around having a proven standard, so we’re building a new, viable standard based on how much people value health outcomes, not what a market mostly driven by entrenched interests of professional investors — who are increasingly foreign — but a market driven by the relationship between cash and life experience.
CLEAN SWEEP — We’re like the mobile car wash of decontaminating spaces. Our trucks and automated machinery (yes technically robots and drones) are able to handle both a process based and a chemically based decontamination. We do everything from insure no people remain in a location for a certain amount of time, to providing a full sweep with dozens of technologies to eliminate exposure. CLEAN SWEEP offers a core innovation, which is what we call DeCon Insurance. For a premium, we fully document every step we take and offer an insurance policy that if the space proves to be contaminated after we’re done, we will cover a third party cleaning it again, and up to thirty days of medical expenses for anyone proven to be made sick at the building.
POSITIVELY NEGATIVE — We build air zone control systems to turn public spaces into negative air pressure zones. This is accomplished through a new set of revolutionary large scale turbines that use the physics of airflow to adapt existing systems into supercharged negative pressure systems at peak times. A large concert hall, for example, will eventually re-open. Because stale shared air is a terribly easy way to transmit pathogens, negative air pressure can reduce risk by sucking the air away from the crowd. Since the energy cost of this as a constant would be unaffordable, our unique system stockpiles energy for rare intermittent boosts like the few hours of an actual concert.
SNEEZE FINE — We monitor security cameras in office spaces and other critical environments and use machine learning to see when someone doesn’t cover a sneeze or a cough. We then fine that person based on terms of their opt-in agreement to participate in SF to keep themselves safe. Typical fines are graduated from $5 on the first event and up to $5,000 after a dozen fines. Employers can also use SNEEZE FINE track analytics about employee health.
HONOR OUR ANCESTORS — We offer content and kits to convert car engines into multipurpose tractor engines. We believe a lot of people both need to stop driving to work every day, and will want (and maybe need) to grow their own food. We help people change their “dinosaur burner” vehicle into a meaningful piece of equipment with a lot of power to work and even irrigate yards converted to gardens. Our name comes from the fact that life descends from life, and we currently burn our (very distant) ancestors to drive around.
FINANCE & INSURANCE
COMMUNITY COPAY — A new model for covering health insurance, medical, and quality of life costs, adjusted for economic and biological security. The reality is that your health is part of a network of people with whom you interact, whether you like it or not. Why pay just your own medical bills when the science supports the network model? For many households, it’s worth paying into shared expenses for childcare workers, teachers, community members, sports teams, and all the other people with whom we interact. CC makes it easy to pay a portion of someone else’s medical bills, and we calculate the risk to reward for you. We’re building a future where people invest in their communities with an enlightened self interest, not a blend of selfishness and intermittent philanthropy.
NEW RISK BASED FINANCING — A social benefit investment corporation, NRBF has a unique portfolio approach, which uses an algorithmic assessment of risk to society based on the role of a business or community operation. For example, delivery drives in major urban centers need sanitation equipment for their vehicles and personal protective equipment for themselves. They likely cannot afford this, nor can their parent companies in a cash crunch. We provide financing terms that adjust based on the risk factor. So a delivery driver in Central LA can get up to a 10 year term on a $2,500 set of personal protective equipment, at a very low interest rate, making this unattainable item available for as little as $25 / month.
HEALTH & WELLNESS
INTENTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS — Everything from friends to mentors, even family members, are at risk of having diluted or stressed out relationships in the new normal. IR is a platform for matching your intent with your impact in important relationships. You open the app and choose a single person, then answer dozens of questions about the nature and goals of the relationship you have with them. IR then helps you tailor a calendar, create a list of goals, and a list of cooperative projects and discussion items to help your relationship thrive. IR will remind you when it’s been too long since you connected, and help you be realistic about how much you can put into a broad network of relationships.
GOOD PERSON — Are you the person you want to be? Are you a good person? Are you acting in moral ways in a crisis? We offer dozens of quizzes, celebrity interviews, and other ways to really ask yourself if your behavior lines up with the way you want to be in this new world.
CHILDREN, FAMILIES & COMMUNITIES
DAISY CLUB — We offer unique lapel pins with daisy’s on them that show that a person participates in the club. The DAISY CLUB is a methodology for keeping yourself and your family secure, including sanitation, distancing, and other processes that reduce risk. When you see someone with a DAISY you know that they are trying to protect themselves and their families. It’s a moment, but soon it’ll be a movement. #Iamadaisy
MATT HAZARD — Matt is a normal kid who has to become a virus slaying superhero. Across his universe, and his content platforms, Matt helps kids adjust to a new normal. Matt is starting by launching informative, narrative driven stories about all of the other CORO-NATION products and services. For example, Matt visits CLEAN RIDE to learn how kids can stay safe from evil VIRAL VILLAINS in the car. By the end of the episode, kids have two or three important lessons enforced through multiple narrative approaches and high frequency messaging. Matt’s dream come true is to one day meet his hero: Captain Planet.
KID CLARITY — We’re a parent process disclosure platform. We help parents come up with biohazard and other safety guidelines for themselves, and then help them share and cooperate on those guidelines for their community of kids’ friends and peers. This enables safe play dates, and communities of trust through practice. KC wants kids to be able to play, perform, and eventually, date. We believe, ultimately, parents know better in small clusters what keeps kids safe than any government agency can ever regulate.
SAFECAMP — We help finance and manage the processes to enable summer camps to convert to safe spaces. First, we confirm a three week decontamination period for individual families, then we help camps extend to month long experiences, where kids and families can enjoy time together. We’re here to save the summer camp industry.
WTF Welcome The Family — At WTF we help people whose parents and children are moving in (or back in) with them. We’re a content platform with everything from humor to advice. People will have to recombine their families and their mental models, and we’re here to help. We have both a network of experts of family therapy and dynamics, as well as seasoned content producers and creators, many of whom are living this reality right there with you.
MINISTREE — Our platform offers religious communities ways to divide their congregation into multiple locations and micro communities, using backyards and agricultural land as new venues for small groups. It may be a long time before large congregational events are safe, so in the meantime — and maybe forever — we believe we should meet in smaller subsets across yards and land. We ask people to donate (or set a “ticket” price) so the religious service providers continue to have income from these services. We aim to hold congregations together and even help them weave stronger bonds.
INSTRUMENT NATION — Our platform provides a secure, safe, and sanitary way to loan out instruments to friends, neighbors, and students. Music has the power to soothe the soul, and we’re going to need a lot of soothing. Through out technology, you can trade skill accomplishment videos for time with your instrument. Have a few guitars? Loan one to a neighbor kid and their 2x a week video uploads will keep them “paying” for the instrument. You incentive progress and get to be sure they’re taking good care of it and actually using it.
DINNER MUSIC — Hire an off-tour musician to play live music based on a setlist of your request. Split the bill with up to five households. Book once or recurring. Whether you just need a spirit lift, or you’re dedicated to protecting the arts and music in our culture, DINNER MUSIC gives you something to invest in.
PUBLIC POLICY REFORM & ADVOCACY CAMPAIGNS
MELT THE BARS — We turn prisons into hospitals. We fund the whole operation by selling retail and other items made from melted prison bars.
MAMA — We protecting working mothers from getting a bad deal in M&A events. MAMA is an app launching a campaign to ensure that workers and employees get their rights in the sweeping wave of M&A that’s about to happen. MAMA allows workers to understand their rights, and to find attorneys who will support them. We also finance attorneys fees, so a factory floor workers can get MAMA’s advice for as little as $5.
PLANT MEDICINE FOR MEDICAL WORKERS — Our medical workers are on the verge of experience broad and prolific social emotional trauma. We need them to recover — fast. Now is the time for a sweeping legislative reform to allow practitioners of psychedelic psychotherapy to give our medical workers healing they need. Psychedelics are increasingly proven to alleviate trauma and our medical workers can more readily get back in the field if they can get this extraordinary intervention as soon as possible. We plan to sell the services, but for now we’re a policy advocacy campaign.
THREE PRESIDENTS — Cooperation > Litigation. We’re a public policy and lobbying organization that produces viral content about the limitations of the hierarchical, litigious model of governance in which we are currently trapped, and shows how a cooperative approach is possible. Our point is that the metaphor of the presidency can help everyone understand that in their day-to-day life, focusing on shared interests and values is better than fighting about who’s got power over the other people.
EVERYONE IS VALUABLE — Our lobbying and content campaign pushes for unpaid domestic work to be recognized as unpaid bills on a tax basis, allowing households to deduct it from income. This means that if one parent works from home full time while the other parent takes care of kids full time, and the paid parent makes $50,000 per year and the other parent makes $0 per year, the at home parent will be recognized as having done $15,000 of unpaid work per year per child, and they have two children, then the taxable income is $20,000 at the end of the year.
COMPASSIONATE CANNABIS COLLECTIVE — The CCC advocates for a sweeping mass legalization of cannabis as both a compassionate measure and a economic development campaign. With federally legal cannabis cultivation and sales, we can ease our collective pain and reinvent our rural economies.
CERTIFIED INTERCARE — We offer people training and credentialed licensing to provide intercare for loved ones. This includes senior care, physical therapy, and massage therapy and chiropractic. We believe that someone should have to follow stringent training and testing protocols to provide public care; i.e. to do physical therapy for anyone in any circumstance, you need very advanced long-term, dedicate-your-life-to-it kind of training. But to learn how to to physical therapy for one person in your household and do it everyday, you should both be rewarded by their insurance company, and able to learn to do so in a fraction of the time required to be able to provide public. CERTIFIED INTERCARE give you the infrastructure you need to officially tend to loved ones.
CRITICAL CREDENTIALING — Many people, ranging from teachers to engineers, are capable of learning to provide basic medical care quickly. We offer a new platform that recognizes past experience and autodidactic knowledge for medical care certifications. Our users can test in to various stages of Registered Nurse and Emergency Medical Technician training, then accomplish modules at their own speed. In theory, a highly successful learner can do all of the book work for and RN or EMT training in less than two months. Our lab program is a synthesis of apprenticeship and field work, to get critical care scaled up fast.
*I recognize “tranny” could be offensive but this term was offered for this concept by my very proudly gay uncle, and since the context is so positive and the branding so strong, I’ll both take the risk and apologize in advance.